Tech + Lifestyle

games, gear, and googleplexes (joke)

Ask the Internets, Part One

***Update*** This post has actually turned into a separate blog. It’s kinda like asexual reproduction, really. This budded and split off into another blog! Check it out here. I’ve wittily and oh-so-originally changed the title of this into Ask Teh Internets for the new blog. I figured I might as well shamelessly milk memes for all they’re worth.

I can’t resist doing this. I happened across someone’s post (don’t recall who) that contained a screen shot of the Google homepage. You know how it suggests topics when you start a search term? In case you hadn’t already discovered, the results can be hilarious. Below are some of the better ones I came across. Note: starting a question (why do, what if… etc) is the best way to get unexpected results.

Part One has something of a relationship/baby-making theme, mostly because that’s what the results tended to skew toward. Read the highlighted result first.

I dont know, do you?

I don't know, do you?

Apparently this is a toughie for all the ladies out there (or dudes, as the case may be). Figuring out your own feelings is pretty hard, yep. *end sarcasm*

Long enough ago that theres no excuse for you.

Long enough ago that there's no excuse for you.

Is this a research project for school? Maybe 856,000 people (probably guys) are just naturally curious. If I recall correctly, condoms were first made from sheep’s bladders or some such nonsense. That should give you some indication.

Why, are you worried?

Why, are you worried?

Either somehow you did, in which case it’s too late, or you’re just some dumb chick looking to ditch the rubbers.

Its too late when you have to ask if it is.

It's too late when you have to ask if it is.

Really now – it’s probably already too late if you don’t already know. Start looking into post-natal anti-depressants.

Ideally? After the above becomes true

Ideally? After that last one becomes true

I advise waiting to tell people you’re pregnant until you’re sure you want to / have to keep the little bugger (but that’s just me).

Its because he doesnt want to see you.

It's because he doesn't want to see you.

Either that, or he’s the idiot that looked up when condoms were invented, got you pregnant on your period because you thought you didn’t need to use protection, freaked out when he realized you were pregnant and too far to abort, and decided to act like the whole thing never happened.

Couldnt say.

Couldn't say.

You want to know why? See all of the above.


December 15, 2008 - Posted by | Humor, Tech | , ,

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