Tech + Lifestyle

games, gear, and googleplexes (joke)

Demoman Intervention, Part Two

If you didn’t read Pt. I, here’s the scene: Demoman’s team has set up an intervention for him. That whiskey is destroying his life, and Scout just blundered his way into an awkward confrontation with the guy. Him and his mouth, I tell ya. Anyway:

*Demoman’s cycloptic gaze (is that even a word, cycloptic? If not, it is now) narrows as he stares at Scout with his eye. That rapscallion just brought up the bane of his existence*

Demoman: “…what did you say?”

Scout: “Isn’t that how you lost your eye? Had a bit too much of that paint thinner you call alcohol; accidentally set the timer for two seconds instead of twenty, and BONK! Shrapnel gets you in the head. That’s how it happened, right?”

*Demoman begins crying again, then breaks his bottle and slice’s the Scout’s throat open.*

Heavy stares at the body for a few seconds.

Heavy: “Is good. I never like him anyway. Always hit me with bat.”

*turning toward Demoman*

Heavy: “Is okay, boom-boom man. Cry some more.”

Pyro: “Mmr phrrrph!”

Medic: “My thoughts exactly. Now, back to zee matter at hand. I believe vee still have a medical issue to deal with.”

Demoman: “Ah don’t know what you’re talkin’ aboot.” (Demoman spent his youth in Canada).

Sniper: “He’s right, mate. You’re nothing more than a bogun with some grenades if you can’t drop the whiskey. Me? All I need is my job. I’ve got a single-minded dedication to the hunt. I’m a professional. I-”

*Demoman shoots a grenade straight into the Sniper’s mouth, ending his speech prematurely. As the Aussie’s head explodes, the Spy is revealed behind him. His knife is upraised, and there’s a look of devilish pleasure on his face.*

Engineer: “Spy’s trying to kill off our team! Maybe he’s the other spy! You know, the bad one!”

*Ignoring Engineer, Spy glares at Demoman.*

Spy: “Monsieur, was that entirely necessary?”

Demoman: “Necessary? You were about to backstab the prick! Ah’m drunk, what’s your excuse?”



June 5, 2009 - Posted by | Gaming, Humor, PC gaming

1 Comment »

  1. i like cyclopean better.

    Comment by Zach | June 6, 2009 | Reply

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